metanoia
by flosculous
Summary: "hello, tom" her treacherous voice broke at its ends when she felt the same pain which she had felt when he left her alone in that abominable orphanage. corners of her lips cracked when his cold gaze didn't waver. he was deadly now. AU, hermione lives in tom riddle's years, multichapter.
1. cage of bones

_"They joined hands.  
So the world ended.  
And the next one began."_  
― Sarah J. Maas, Queen of Shadows

 _(i)_

she was looking at him with her hair braided in two plates. the silence grown into an uncomfortable sensation that tingled her skin as if she had put her hands into water full of ice. he was passive and stared at her as if she was a worm. he was six and he wanted to crush her, revolt her fragile body with his tainted soul. her lips wobbled but she didn't waver from his mute interrogation.

" _so_ , you decided to tell toby that i had his book?" his lips moved slowly dragging each word and she felt her chest suffocating. "why?" brown brows furrowed when he circled her person. the pages of philosophical novel ran through her mind, trying to think of another lie.

her palms were wet with her nervousness.

"it wasn't yours," his icy irises burned holes in her skull as if he wanted to see how her brain worked. the sound of rain and painful realization of what she had done made her shiver. "you would have destroyed it!" the fire behind her voice oozed through whole of her lithe body. his sharp jaw clicked and his perfect, _god_ like features turned into an ugly scowl.

"you want to fight for a story full of nonsense and fairytales? you are so pathetic, _mudblood_ " his mocking tone and the way he said that horrible word triggered her fury. "the name you are given is also poignant," short insult from the back of his throat resulted in unwanted tears in her amber eyes. she curled her fingers in the hideous apron and choked on her own sob.

"still it's better than your average one!" she didn't dare to look back when her feet carried her far away from his room.

tom riddle was bully and she hated him.

 _(ii)_

brown locks of her hair stuck to her forehead while she was running in her white nightgown through maze of the orphanage. the heavy steps of mrs cole echoed in her ears when she jumped from few stairs in a vain hope of escaping that horrible woman. eyes wide open she lustrated every door looking for the ones which she usually omitted.

"you little wench, come here now!"

there was her breathing so audible that she had to put a hand over her lips to prevent shaky gasps of terror and utter despair. blood that ran from her nose dropped on her pajamas with soft thuds. 22, 23, 24, 25, she counted and almost laughed out loud when she saw a familiar number on old, grayish door. her heart broke into tiny pieces when she recalled how stupid she might have looked like. she didn't bother to knock and slamming his door she was met with his piercing gaze.

"make her go away," she whispered standing close to the older boy. she swore that there was amusement in his eyes when his nonchalant brow rose. "please, tom!" she could hear the screams of their guardian. when the doorknob shook suddenly the doorframe erupted in fire. she gasped, not only from fear but from the crystal force of magic rushing through both of them.

"freaks!"

when mrs cole finally left them, she wiggled her wrist to stop the bleeding but in fact she only smeared it more on her face. there was irritating sound in her head but she couldn't grasp what it was, something along breathless words and howling of wind.

"it's red,"

her brown eyes met ice and she let out small giggle.

"did you honestly think it would be mud?" she put her dirty hand on his pale shirt and smiled. "that's for you to remember" the imprint of her limb stood out in the contrast of his almost white skin. making her way towards corridor she stopped and looking at him she whispered

"thank you, tom"

maybe she didn't hate him so much.

 _(iii)_

she stared at his clothed form and she sprinted towards him only to be met with huge pair of arms suffocating her person. he had small suitcase next to him and she wanted to tear it away from him. he couldn't leave her here. mrs cole told her to shut up but her screams tore the peaceful night.

tom looked at her and he sent her most of the cruellest things he could do.

he smiled at her.

 _(iv)_

"hermione, are you alright?"

she repressed her defensive mood and looked at the small girl next to her. the train restrained her movements so she sat next to the window with her loose hair. people at beauxbatons weren't so friendly with her, always judging her by her orphan status.

hogwart, was it going to be something different?

her lips cracked and she silently nodded at the intruder's question. she didn't even bother to know her name, it wasn't necessary right now. the gentle sound of patter made her oddly nostalgic. memories from past invaded her nostrils.

will she be able to find home?

after all of this years that she spent deprived of the felling of belonging. something tore her gaze from the landscape.

she was going to have to face tom riddle again.

 _(v)_

she was glad that her sorting was done quietly, far away from suspicious glances and judgement. her mind swirled on new thoughts, her legs moving faster than she imagined them to. she was almost sightseeing, the ceilings of her new school were beautifully done. hogwart smelled like forest, full of mysteries that waited to be resolved. looking at the small map that professor has given to her, she made her way towards her new dorm.

it was different, the feeling of belonging crushed upon her when she had entered the grounds of this famous place. as if she was always part of here. her soft eyes stopped at the sight of two staircases and with a frown she decided that she would wander more. climbing faster and faster she was met with breathtaking sight. starry sky and the vision of foggy forest made her skin alarmed. the fresh air sucked her lungs while it was transported to her mouth where she could feel the easiness in which she could breathe.

finally at peace.

"it's past the curfew," she jumped around, her wand focused in the direction of the voice. where he stood was complete darkness, surrounding him as a cloak. only silver badge on his chest made him more visible. "what are you doing here? where is your school attire?" her brows furrowed when strange feeling of familiarity hit her mind.

"i don't have any now, i'm a new student," she wanted him to move, to show himself but both of them stood there for a few seconds in complete stillness. "you shouldn't be here too" her accusation flew from her mouth before she could register sudden movement.

the sound of steps and rustling of his cloak resulted in changing angle of her hand. she thought her eyes played some tricks on her when from the abyss emerged _god_. his tilted head and neatly styled hair made him look like a statue that she saw in paris, so god a like but at the same time so cold and out of reach. almost _lifeless._ his features were so sharp that if she stepped closer she would have been cut on his cheekbones and high nose. they were perfect, his bones created at the resemblance of divinity. lips so thick and ghostly pale as his skin formed small smirk, enough to call it a movement.

she could feel the trembling of her fingers when for once she stared at his eyes. those icy, blue eyes that crashed her as a waves would do. his expression changed into blank one and suddenly into something akin to the bland surprise. her heart wrenched painfully when she took him fully and she bit her lips so hard that they almost tore.

 _drip, drop._

"hello, tom" her treacherous voice broke at its ends when she felt same pain which she had felt when he left her alone in that abominable orphanage. corners of her lips cracked when his cold gaze didn't waver.

" _hermione_ "

he was deadly now.


	2. the curse

_"The curse ruled from the underground down by the shore_  
 _And their hope grew with a hunger to live unlike before"_

 _-_ Agnes Obel, The curse

(vi)

his long fingers almost broke her wrist when he pulled her down the stairs. her head lulled with the overwhelming feeling of nausea. tom's digits were painfully impaled into her skin when he finally stopped and pushed her into the dark corridor with his cloak surrounding both of them. she needed to blink few times before recognizing his breath so close to her ear that she almost jumped. he hold her arm without words and she frowned when he inhaled her scent like an animal.

somewhere between them she could hear _serpents_ talking, crawling under her skin. her lips parted as she sagged in this difficult position.

"what are you doing here?" his snarl was powerful enough to shake her whole body. she remembered that cold hearted boy with his crystal eyes that had sent shivers down her spine as a child. perfect features morphed into steel. "answer me," focusing on his adam's apple her tongue tried to move but she found it glued to the palate area. he smelled like library and black ink, her eyes prowled around his expressionless face and she snapped her neck in an opposite direction.

"i'm here to learn, _tom_ " wiggling out of his hold was hard but she did it nevertheless. brown hair managed to curtain her gaze from his person.

"why?" her hand squeezed her wand so hard that she had to regain her composure.

"don't be stupid. silliness never suited you, _riddle_ " she threw him an angry glare with the swirl of her locks. she wanted him to do something, anything. she wanted to know if he had ever missed her but when she saw his mocking stare, she repressed that thought. "you had beautiful house to sleep in and live in, wonderful people surrounding you," envy slipped in every word she uttered. "maybe you were lucky then, that he took you" spitting last sentence at him hermione turned around and walked away from that nightmarish boy. no, _almost man_. she didn't last few meters when he stopped her with a spell.

bothersome schoolboy.

"yes, it was singular to have a neat bed and every dish i've wanted. massive difference between school and orphanage, you know" he tilted his head and studied her reaction. she didn't want to cry in front of him, but his words echoed in her mind with poisonous effects. "here nobody touches you. you are a master of yourself" he stood next to her and slowly lowered himself to her height, facing her glossy irises.

"you are appalling creature," she wished she said more but the amusement vanished from his eyes and he turned into hard stone. "you've always were" her wobbly knees almost gave in when his nostrils flared.

"yet, you are even worse," he sounded like a trapped snake, hissing and glaring at her. "prude, little girl that always begged for my help" his jaw clicked when he spoke. "you are below me, _hermione_ " her name was spelled out with an insulting meaning behind it.

"you aren't extraordinary, tom" her growl vibrated through the empty hall. "all of you is about your sick and twisted bitterness" his wand was pointed at her forehead without any warning. she could feel the tip of it between her eyes.

"you are not better than me, _mudblood_ "

it was the way he said it this time that she had thought that if he could, he would engrave it on her skin with his bare hands. blue eyes pierced her soul and she felt that intrusive presence in her mind, forcing her to crumble under his force. she tried to build a wall of books that could keep him far away from her memories. he selected the trail of her pain and she almost screamed when he saw glimpses _of him and her at the orphanage classes, him leaving her behind with his suitcase, that smile that haunted her every night._

"protego!" force in which she casted the spell made him step backwards. his twisted in anger face made her limbs shaking. "it's not yours to see" her wand focused on him while she started to back away from his person.

"we will see," his dark hair curled at its ends, rested upon his forehead when his eyes never left hers. "here, everything is mine" the last word was articulated with so much certainty that her head almost blacked out.

when she ran towards ravenclaw's dormitory she choked on her own tears.

(vii)

she dreamt about a sea without waves. black water seemed lifeless when she strained her neck just to see if somebody was there with her. the sand felt warm against her bare feet as she closed her eyes feeling warmth exploding on her skin. there was rustling next to her and when she side glanced she saw floating existence.

it was covered in black cloak and seemed very fragile, its head was nowhere to be seen because of the rag-paper hood. the smell of moss hit her nostrils when her eyes went back to adoring the sunset.

"do not wait for him, he's not coming back" it whispered with the voice of an unnatural creature. she felt heavy weight around her neck when the words hit her heart with an unknown feeling. _"do not wait for him, he's not coming back"_ the sentence was uttered once again as she moved towards the sea. the water was cold against her skin and when her hips were covered by it she laid on its surface, facing the dull sky. it was almost white. the heaviness haven't left her, however she spotted something gold floating from her cervix. eyes narrowing she deducted that it was a lock. she wanted to touch it but then she was pulled underwater by putrid limbs.

hermione screamed as she was being drowned.

(viii)

the blue suited her, she was sure of that.

passing groups of students she gracefully made her way towards the great hall with _hogwarts: a history_ under her armpit. the noise full of giggles and conversations was the first thing she noticed upon arriving at the entrance. she padded slowly towards ravenclaw's table with cautious face. spotting lonely corner she threw her bag and sat with brown curls hiding her from other people. food arrived in front of her while she repressed inner shock by the amount of it. orphanage was always short on food, giving them only tasteless porridge day by day.

hermione hummed while opening her book with adoration marking her eyes, _oh_. books were her biggest kink, the knowledge illuminating from them was unbelievable. the corners of her lips lifted and her breath elaborated with a monotone rhythm while her amber irises shone with new purpose. the ceiling was full of clouds that covered sun and some of the professors still sat at their own table. she made a mental note that she should start to learn their names by heart. biting her lip she exhaled loudly, taking out a fresh scroll with the desire to write down every thrilling thing she has read in that volume. she was so absorbed in her reading that she hadn't heard soft cough next to her ear. very lazily she spotted the intruder.

a girl with strawberry blonde hair waved at her with toothy smile.

"hello, i'm rosalie! i assumed you are the new student from _beauxbatons!_ it is my deepest pleasure to meet you," her sparkling green eyes were the extension of her grin. "i'm the prefect, it's my second year being the most reliable person in our house so if you are lost or helpless just tell me!" the bubbly personality almost blinded hermione's hunched form. the girl was pretty and blabbermouthed but somewhere between her chatter and charm she noticed bravery and intelligence. not so surprising, taking into an account that she belonged to the ravenclaw.

"it's nice to meet you, my name is hermione" she awkwardly offered her hand. "i'm sorry that i didn't introduce myself before but the journey has worn me off"

"oh, that's a nonsense! of course you were tired. maybe we could arrange our beds so that we can sleep next to each other," rosalie clapped her palms as if it was the most brilliant idea ever.

"well, if you want," she chewed on the pudding while glancing at the blonde girl. "how about your friends?"

green irises found the brown ones with mute understanding.

"people find me strange," she shrugged with nonchalant expression. "it's their loss," her hands reached for a cup of orange juice. "why did you leave france?" the heart-shaped face has lighted up once again.

"it's hard to tell, to be honest. i've wrote a letter to the professor i've known as a child" mechanically she looked at the strange looking wizard. "he owed me that much," maybe it was the bitterness in her voice or her curled fingers on her uniform that made other girl nodding. "what about you? do you enjoy being in ravenclaw?" shrugging the topic of her presence she plopped herself on the arm.

"well, it was predictable" irony erupted in the tone of fair headed voice. "me being extraordinary since i was a baby. you know, talking about healing spells by the age of five because i've eavesdropped on my mother" her lips parted and she giggled.

the sound of thousands bells rang in hermione's ears and before she could stop - she laughed too.

it was strange to befriend someone so cheerful and kind. the mirth behind their laughter vanished when rosalie's eyes narrowed into two dangerously looking green focal points. following her gaze brown eyed witch found a boy with almost silver hair, and with his tie thrown against his shoulder in not so neatly manner. he stood in front of slytherin's table and his lips were moving really fast when he suddenly turned his face towards both of them. she slightly jumped feeling as if she was caught red handed. dropping her stare she peeked at prefect next to her in the exact moment when she mouthed one mute sentence.

 _"shut it off"_

the lad just threw his head back with a snicker.

"who is he?" she didn't mean to sound so forwardly but that bizarre exchange between two of them made her more than curious. light brow furrowed while its owner smeared the toast with a jam.

"he is just spoiled, bumptious _ferret._ that's who he is" she growled taking a bite of her breakfast. " _so,_ the usual when it comes to the pretentious, devious snakes from the green cave" pointing the last board in the hall she sighed. "and look _honey_ , he is the most dangerous one of them," her whisper so close to her neck made her skin cover with goosebumps. heading in the direction of rosalie's chin she was met with the image of perfectly ironed uniform of no one else but tom riddle.

and he indeed looked like a devil with a face of _god_.

(ix)

her steps were fast but at the same time lazy. after her last classes with rosalie, she decided to go to the library. the smell of books and dusty aroma of all of these years made her even more excited. the bookworm in her saluted at her musing when she saw beautifully adorned doors to her destination. pushing them lightly she was met with few students hurled above their own essays, ink spilled over scrolls and over their skin.

inwardly she looked at her fingers that not so surprisingly were tainted with her own quill.

looking for the loneliest spot she headed towards the end of the interior while inhaling knowledge in. _oh,_ it was wonderful. her eyes roamed through shelves with bottomless fascination in her soul. the pads of her hands touched the spines of books with carefulness, the sensation of the utter pleasure soaking into her blood. she reopened her eyeballs and stared at the most isolated part of athenaeum. she could feel magic surging through her veins when she met the title of one of the volumes _._

 _runic spelling and effects of dark magic._

 _dark magic versus cores of wands._

 _how to counter sinister curse._

"that is rather provocative, don't you think?"

she jumped around, hand on her wand with a tight-knit feeling. he was leaning over the end of other rack with his dark hair curled against his skin. he could be aesthetically breath taking in that moment, however the sneer upon his lips ruined his divine aura. the green tie carelessly done made her remember the other boy. something about that foible was striking her nerve.

"go away, riddle" her spine tensed when he cracked his mouth into another one of his scoffs. "some things never change, right?" he didn't catch upon her question while his stare traipsed her small person. the height difference certainly gave rise to his self-pride, she was sure of that. "what do you want?" her chin didn't tremble when she stepped closer to him. she could smell his cologne and spicy scent of forest surrounding him. he didn't smell like that in the orphanage. her fingers played on the wood of her magic stick.

"it's a library, _granger_ " he arched his perfect eye brow with slight enjoyment in his blue eyes. "where do you think i spent most of my time?" his tongue clipped at the last word and she twisted her neck in the opposite direction so she saw him in her peripheral vision.

he could see the pulse in her neck veins, beating and tormenting him.

" _so_ , did you do that?" she challenged with a mask of confidence. her small back hit the desk when he took two steps towards her. like a predator with greek statue features.

"did i do what?" his adam's apple jumped and she clashed her gaze with his. the battle of stares between them two was usual back at wool's. she felt as if she was burning under his beam. always feeling smaller and weaker around him.

"killed the girl," her breathing blew against his collar with nervousness at its ends. "in the bathroom" he let out dark snort and took out a textbook above her head. his lips parted and she could see whiteness of his teeth when he obscurely smiled.

"there are only two options, aren't they?" rough material of his sleeve grazed her cheek. "so which one do you prefer?"

amber irises glowed with something similar to hope for a few seconds, only to be replaced with sadness.

"i think that it is not for me to decide. i don't know you anymore, tom" sheepishly looking at him hermione made her way back to the dormitory. she understood that their acquaintance ended the day he left for hogwarts, but honestly…

was there ever any kind of familiarity between the two of them? her curls covered her sight when she stumbled into corridor with troubled mind. maybe it was only her who felt like they were friends - and somehow the idea of not being comrades with young tom riddle seemed rather painful. her arm shot towards the wall when she supported her own body with ragged breathing.

was she the only one who thought that the orphanage was bearable because of some bond between them two?

 **AN: I do not own universe of JK Rowling, only complete OC's are mine. The titles of chapter are also titles of songs. Happy reading!**


	3. lost it all

_"In these rivers of tears I'm drowning and drowning_  
 _There are wolves in my head and they're howling"_

\- Jill Andrews, Lost it all

(x)

the dreams hadn't left her. the constant fear of being drowned made her restless and jumpy, even the sunsets were getting on her nerves. she evaluated the source of those nightmares and figured out that they have started when she transferred to hogwarts. back in the orphanage she used to dream about her parents, she vaguely remembered her mother's curls and nothing else. as if she haven't lived with them for her first four years of life. that somewhat hurt, the feeling of loss but also thoughts about her family pictured as strangers.

throwing her white bed sheet she saw that rosalie was nowhere to be found. _sunday,_ hermione mused with soft pang in her heart. though it was practically free day, she was going to study and maybe pay a visit to professor slughorn. due to her headache her nerves were on fire and with one, sleek motion of her wrist the curtains shut the daylight in one second. the groggy feeling inside her skull only worsened when she put her simple attire on. the mirror's reflection showed ghostly looking girl with too big eyes and dull mop of hair. oh, fantastic. taking brown brush she tried to tame the wild bush of hers but in the end she decided on high ponytail that covered her struggle with daily basis.

after all hermione was not the one who dwelled upon her appearance. however, the thoughts of nice and untangled hair seemed like a step forward in asking rosalie for help. she mentally added this to her tasks to do. taking her wand and bag she stormed out of ravenclaw's dormitory and sighed seeing spiral stairs that awaited for her steps. doing her best not to get dizzy with all of the things on her mind while walking down she stopped looking at one of the windows. the autumn in scotland was as if it was taken out of a photograph. she pondered if headmaster would agree on her staying in the castle for holidays but shrugging that silly thought away she stepped down.

"hermione?" her name echoed in an empty staircase high above her head. trying to find the source she was met with red head poking through the spaces of stairs. "do you hear me?" the girl shouted once more and she wished she could refrain from doing that because if she did that one more time, her forehead would more likely explode.

"yes, hannah. speak," clenching on her bag strip she bit her lower lip with anticipation.

"professor dumbledore asked me to let you know that he wants to meet you in his office. so yeah, you know where the transfiguration post is right?" the fifth year sounded inpatient and in fact hermione felt that as well. nodding vigorously she thanked younger girl and sighed. of course that old man wanted to talked to her. it's a pity he didn't talk to her when she was younger. curling her small hands into tiny fists she exhaled loudly and without further slackness she ventured towards the meeting.

(xi)

the paintings were looking at her and the frames shook when people inside changed their places. besides strangely limping dwarfs she spotted few animals and some knights jumping from one side to another. she could watch every creak in the old wall, every spider web tangled in the magnificent ceiling but she couldn't bring herself to look at the man with auburn hair and beard. there was something prickling her skin when she studied details of the office she was sitting in. the sound of wall clock mashed with her throbbing headache so she gently ironed her skirt, trying to avoid eye contact. it was painful to sit there with silence surrounding them like a winter coat. maybe he was kind, maybe she didn't trust him but they needed to talk. otherwise she will grow old and rusty while waiting for some wise words.

"miss granger, i believe that you grew fond of your new house," he started with mirth in his voice and hermione thanked god that he finally broke the mute part of the meeting. her knees hit the table and she inwardly gasped at the careless move.

"yes, sir. it is very pleasant" short answers were the best ones. her shoulders tensed when his long fingers moved towards the sweets on golden plate. the scraping sound of glass on wood only resulted in wrinkling her nose.

"lemon drop?" he suggested yellow coloured drop but she silently refused to eat it. "i always knew, miss granger, that your mind and outstanding skills were abilities that ravenclaw seeked for," the old wizard chewed and with a something akin to smile he anew his monologue. "but what surprised me was content of your letter. i dare to say that i expected your request few years ago. however, you wanted to be transferred just now. may i ask why?" even when he was looking at her with a serene expression marking his face, she couldn't see through his façade. pinching her thighs she quickly regained her composure.

"sir," her voice sounded strange. as if she was choked on her tears but that wasn't the case. "with all respect but the reasoning for doing so are completely personal and i wish not to tell anyone about them" the lump in her throat vanished and she desperately fought coughing the remains of nonexistent barricade. dumbledore's eyes twinkled with curiosity and she bit her tongue to prevent herself from further discussion.

"ah, i understand. so let them remain yours," his hands formed philosophers stance and he stared at her without any words for a few seconds. "nevertheless i must ask you if your reasons were connected to tom riddle?" she didn't know if she flinched because he asked about this or because of the mention of tom's name. she could feel her neck burning in agonizing tempo and fisting her fingers inside palms she exhaled when she felt the numbing sensation of nails digging into flesh.

"i don't know what are you talking about, sir. tom has been here from the begging of his magical education. i don't see any correlation between my transfer and his person," she faked breathless laughter. hermione wanted to stand up and leave but making scene in front of no one else but albus dumbledore was not an option.

"i see. i must admit that i hoped that the friendship formed during orphanage days was still there," his blue eyeballs burned into hers and she slowly adverted her gaze. why must he be so difficult? her legs started to shake in anxiety. she hated that feeling, images of screams and hunger lingered in her mind before she registered that professor was still talking to her. "before taking tom to hogwarts i heard that you were his only companion. children, especially magical ones form their bonds rather quickly but while both of you were kept in orphanage it must have been difficult, was it?" he was testing her. if she wasn't know-it-all she would miss the way he stressed last question.

"well, sir. we were children and if you have ever lived in a foster house you would know that anything similar to friendship or love was everything to some of us. i don't understand what my prior relationship with tom riddle has to do with my education here," she gulped fearing that she crossed the line but he only looked at her with delighted smile. "i really don't want to talk about my experience in wools, sir" yes. she didn't want to remember its suffocating atmosphere. and loneliness that felt like iron bars around her limbs. "if it's all, i have to leave because i need to run few errands, professor," finishing lamely she didn't wait for his approval and stood up with wrinkled shirt.

"of course, miss granger. please do not interpret my concern as an intrusion. i only want to make sure that you feel at home, at least it is something i can do for you here" he gestured the doors and she almost rand towards them with beating heart. "oh, and if i were you i would go to the hospital wing," her head snapped at him with speed she didn't know she possessed. "you need dreamless potion, it's all written on your face child," and he slowly vanished in the classroom.

hermione fled.

(xii)

the medi witch gave her the potion after dozens of questions that irritated her to the core. even though she prescribed her some painkillers as well she was only halfway through the corridor when she spotted literal pain in her life. wincing at his perfect features and prefect badge hermione turned around and tried to escape his person as fast as she could. there was a chance he hadn't seen her but who was she to kid herself. with his rare gift of observation he probably saw her the minute she stumbled from the corner. keeping her vial hidden in her bag she thought frantically that her bare neck is too exposed.

"granger!"

 _shit._

his voice echoed in her eardrums and she stopped dead in her tracks. merlin's beard, what did she do to deserve that humiliation? she could hear his steps and swish of his sleeves against his shirt. of course, it was perfectly ironed. when all she heard was breathing she whipped her head to see his pale face few centimetres from hers. his nostrils flared and his deathly eyes roamed around her to stop at her forehead.

"what are you doing here?" she saw his tongue between his teeth and dropped her gaze onto his adam's apple.

"walking, is it forbidden?" her ironic remark didn't affect him when he rose an eyebrow at her silly wording. "well, i had few things to catch up. it's not against protocol or school rules, so?" folding her hands under her breasts she thought his stare followed her movements.

"no," he drawled with his horrible smirk. "but you just left hospital wing," it seemed as if he wanted to say more but both of them heard someone's walking. there was laughter too so it could be a group of students. riddle's fingers dug into her elbow as he slammed her body against the nearby wall that was covered by a huge column. "stop moving" he hissed with irritation when she struggled to gain more freedom. he has grown up, of course he would. he was what, seventeen? she cursed herself for not remembering his birth year but at the same time she wondered if he knew hers.

"would you take your hands off me?" her words were soft almost nonverbal but he let her go and threw her an angry look. "why do you think i would tell you my personal troubles? we are strangers," his porcelain skin cracked and sinister looking tom erupted on the inside.

"you stupid, little girl" he loved mocking her, every word was aimed at her insecurities. "you should know better that what was mine is always mine," there was that sound again. like a serpent's hiss or talk, she couldn't put it together but she was sure she just heard that again. it was hypnotizing and exotic, compelling her with an unknown felling.

"did you hear that?" she surprised him, she thought she did because his eyes narrowed at her hunched posture.

"what?" oh, he was inpatient. however, when she was glued to the wall she swore that the extraordinary sound anew its talk.

"i don't know, something different. like," her eyes winded when the hissing became so close that she had to jump from the place she was standing in. the grey eyes pierced her whole person. "like serpents. it just goes for a few seconds and returns, like a mantra or something like that. it's highly illogical for me to think that in fact something is making those sounds but i hear them and i don't know why," hermione's mouth moved so fast that she didn't comprehend that the hand of tom groped her ponytail and he violently pushed it down. she whimpered but kept her eyes focused on her attacker.

"how could you possibly hear it?" she trembled when his tone of voice resembled the one she heard few times. "you are a mudblood," his breath was hot, almost burning her cheek when he leaned to her side. "remember that or the voices would be the last thing you hear"

if someone saw them from behind he or she would think that both of them are snuggling. she almost burst in laughter after thinking about it. tom's hair glued to his forehead gave him more evil halo in the soft rays of sun that perked through the castle windows. her hands shook when she fought with him for her bag.

"what do you want?" she spat when he tugged too hard and all of the contests of her school purse fell on the cold ground. quickly but not enough to stop him she grabbed his wrist when he touched the glass with potion. "give it back, riddle" her digits impaled in his skin and her frown made her look older. he checked the vial and with swift motion he threw it at her. she was fast and got the potion in her hand. "you are horrendous boy," tucking the package in her trousers hermione started to gather her things from the floor.

"troubles with sleeping, granger?" if she didn't know him she would thought that he was genuinely asking her about her problems. he was good, she had to give him that credit. no wonder he can walk around the castle without repercussions for murdering a girl. of course it was him. hermione knew it from the begging, that twisted man whom she adored back at wools. biting her lips she worked in silence wishing he would vanish or leave her if she didn't bother answering him. "i asked you," he kneeled next to her and grabbed her neck with one motion. "if you had any problems, granger" she shot him pissed of glare and smacked his arm. the only sound was their breathing and ticking of the clock before he drew his wand against her. the tip of it between her eyes and his thin lips formed in brute smile in her line of sight.

"are you going to kill me here? like the girl in the bathroom?" she dared with hammering heart, she wanted to be brave but the vision of his hooded eyes and nonexistent tremble in his hand made her knees weaken.

"do not test me, hermione" he muttered her name as if she was some kind of illness. oh, of course she was - she was the tainted witch, mudblood. "if i were you, i would never came here"

"would you stay at wools then, tommy?" she hit the spot when she felt the pressure on her face.

"don't call me that!" he roared and it was really stupid of him, she thought. in short amount of time there were steps followed by a soft hum of no one else but a professor slughorn. she didn't even notice when the wand assaulting her skin vanished and tom started to pack her things.

what a wonderful display of perfectness.

"tom? miss granger?" the old, naïve potion master asked upon arriving at the scene of what it might looked like, an accidental walk in. "hopefully the impact wasn't strong" he giggled under his breath analyzing both of his students.

"oh, sir. i just helped hermione with her belongings that fell out of her bag when she just bumped into me" the sweet voice coming from tom's lips suffocated her with a need of throwing up. how could he be so good in playing?

"my boy, that's so generous of you. miss granger, why do you sit on the ground? mister riddle helped with your stuff" small man gestured the papers in prefect's hands. she opened her mouth but closed it because of the nausea which hit her after realization of the riddle's game.

"hermione is not in her spirits today, professor" the honey like excuse echoed in her mind for few seconds before she slowly arose and met his eyes with a wrinkle on her young forehead.

"oh, i see. then i'm off, but before my departure. make sure that miss granger comes to the next meeting of our small club, would you?" the answer was muted for her due to an irritating, high pitched scream at the back of her head. she thought it was her but when she looked around slughorn already left and she was once again alone with her old friend.

"just let me be today, tom. i'm really tired"

he just looked at her oddly for a second that felt like eternity before handing her notes and storming down the corridor.

hermione ran towards the ravenclaw's dormitory as fast as she could.

(xiii)

rosalie hadn't returned so she drew the curtains around her bed to hide from the curious gazes of her fellow housemates. the vial next to her assured her that she will sleep well tonight but somewhere inside her dubious mind she recalled her previous nightmare and the unknown need to know who the creature was. was she a masochist if she decided to fall asleep without the potion tonight? she grabbed her diary - as frivolous as it sounds, and traced the previous encounters with the mysterious thing. every one said to not wait for "him".

young witch frowned and put big question mark nearby the passage. how the hell is she going to live through another night of drowning? shutting the notebook she laid on the bed wondering if her sacrifice was even worthy?

"hermione?" she sighed and poked her head from her safe haven.

"yes?" there was two girls from her year getting ready to sleep and she didn't know why would they call her now when they weren't so keen towards her at all.

"would you cast silencing charm around your place, please? your screams are getting on my nerves" the tall, black haired teen whispered with serious face.

"yes, of course. good night" she returned to her bed with reddened cheeks. she did what she had been asked for and without taking dreamless potion she jumped under the covers and tried to remember only positive things before drifting to sleep.

(xiv)

she was back on the beach but the floating creature was not there. her hair stuck to her face and she desperately wanted to put it to its place but the wind made her unable to do it. when she glanced at the sea, it was dead - there wasn't a single wave, the water was dark and it didn't even reflected the sun. she heard the hissing.

it was the same sound that she encountered in hogwarts hall so she turned around to see what made such noises. there was a forest. it couldn't be forbidden forest because the trees were too high and most of them were bare. she was unaffected by that and she slowly made her way towards the green spot, her feet leaving imprints in the sand. when she was closer to the meadow she could hear the hissing sounds more vibrantly, but they were coming from every direction. her head whipped at the sound of breaking branches. there it was.

the creature, faceless under the hood of rags. it flew past her and she ran after it without rational purpose. hard stones grazed her skin but she didn't want to lost focus on the flying object. when she was close to it she smelled dead corpse and heat crept upon her throat when she saw the hooded thing laying in the pool of silver blood.

unicorns have silver blood, hermione.

she flinched when the creature looked at her, the noises kept building up and up. she could feel the snakes around her ankles and coldness of the night when the creature swept above the ground to stop next to her.

"look what he had done" it whispered angrily, the voice of it sounding like a mere gust of wind. "look at it!" the scream was more forceful so she trained her eyes on the decaying horse. "you have to try it, you have to!" the creature's pale limbs stretched towards her and she saw a metallic liquid there.

"i can't!" her spine froze when she felt that her legs were unable to move. serpents circling her movements and their amount making it harder and harder. "please, i can't" she whispered when the smell of unicorn's blood hit her nostrils. she could feel it dripping onto her mouth but she kept it shut. there was a loud exhale and more of the hisses followed when she finally couldn't breathe she sucked in air. the blood flew onto her tongue and she screamed, trying to get it away.

"look at what he had done" the angry creature stopped its assault and looked at her from its hood. before she could retort or do anything she felt pulsating heat around her neck and heart. it was unbearable. she looked down and she saw the golden locket that moved like a beating heart. it burned her skin when she swallowed unicorn's blood. "look at what he had done to you" she side glanced at the creature but it wasn't there nor the snakes around her body. her hand flew towards the chain holding the jewellery but it erupted in sinister laughter. she tripped over the tree roots and before she could stand up the locket started to twist around her neck and all she could hear was its beating heart.

(xv)

she woke up screaming and retching beside her bed. the sweat covering her skin was cold and when she touched her forehead it was burning. was she feverish? casting cleaning charm she removed her vomits from the floor, glad that no one witnessed it. her heart hammered in her chest and mechanically she reached to see if the locket was still there. it wasn't.

she gasped when one thing seemed to be clearer than ever.

she finally remembered how the locket looked like.

* * *

 **AN** : sorry for the wait, due to my university i wasn't able to post anything. but i have holidays so there will be regular updates, next one in two weeks. **I DO NOT OWN ANY CHARACTERS FROM HARRY POTTER, I ONLY OWN PLOT.**


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